Masturbation Is Sexy
Right, let me start by saying my latest article is up and ready for you over at AskMen.com.
It's called Get Her To Masturbate For You. Please have a look and don't forget to vote/leave a comment while you're over there!
If you'll notice the title, we're talking masturbation here, as well. I kind of have to chuckle when women make unequivocal comments about masturbation, like some have done over there already.
There is no such thing as right and wrong - there are women who like certain things, and women who don't. That's why I speak in generalities or majorities when writing. Here, I'll give you an example.
Someone had said the word "masturbation" is cold, clinical and should never be used.
Well... that's not always the case.
The word masturbation can be used with plenty of women - and many prefer it to phrases like "playing with yourself". I'm one of them. If a man asked me to play with myself, I'd be turned off to the point I'd probably never warm to the idea, even if asked in a different way.
Personally, I'd prefer being asked to "touch" myself, which is, I believe, a safe phrasing for most women.
That said, the word "masturbation" sounds a bit bad when said with an American accent, so if that chick has only ever dated Americans, I can understand her view. However, I suspect that when spoken with a very posh English accent, it could sound extremely erotic.
But I know the word bothers some women. And that's fine. I wouldn't think it sexy if an American mentioned it tomorrow - it has to be the right voice and the right accent. And, perhaps, the right man.
This aside, the article is about getting a woman to perform in front of a man. Flying solo. The idea is extremely intimidating to most women, only those who are really comfortable with their sexuality and really want to please their man, get really, really excited to do this.
It's not really worth trying, otherwise.
Personally, I like the idea of seeing a man stroke himself. I quite like the idea of seeing it go all the way - but in reality, if I'm into the man (and let's hope I am, if he's wanking in front of me) he's not going to have a chance to finish.
No way, I'd never be able to just sit there that long, I'd have to take over at some point.
So what are your views on masturbation? Does the word bother you? What word do you prefer? Do you like watching or being watched? Go on then, tell us!
xx Isabella
12 Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest:
Great topic. I've done this for men before, and I really don't enjoy it. So while I did it to please them, it left me feeling oddly disassociated because I was acting outwardly sexy, but inwardly hating it.
I'm relieved to hear of other women who don't like it or get performance anxiety too. I was feeling ashamed for not being comfortable with it.
My question is this:
If a guy asks me to do this, and I know it will KILL the erotic mood for me, how do I decline? I don't want to seem like a prude, I'm not. It's just a turn off for me.
Anything can sound erotic with a posh English accent.
There's a wonderful masturbation scene in The Tudors...is it playing over there yet? It just started in Canada and I'm totally obsessed.
'It took an Englishman for me to realize how absolutely sexy the word can be. It has to be the right voice and the right accent. And, perhaps, the right man.'
I'm thinking it's all to do with the right man thing ;)
I like the M. word and I use it all the time. There really isn't another for it, is there? To me, it's hot.
I'm not picky on the term used. Touch yourself, play with yourself, masturbate. It's all the same thing with the same idea behind it.
I've never had a problem doing so for a man and I love watching a man do so as well. Both are completely hot to me!
^^^^^
Wot she said! And when you have a long-distance relationship like me, sometimes phone or webcam masturbation is the only sexual activity you share for weeks. Certainly I had done it for him online before I actually had any proper physical relationship with him and I did feel a bit uncomfortable the first time... but he enjoyed it so much that now I love doing it for him, especially when he records it on his phone.
I also love to watch him play, it helped me to understand what worked for him better.
Anon - Welcome! Um.. I'm not sure what to tell you, though.. If you don't want to kill the mood, you could maybe drop hints beforehand?? You definitely should tell him, though!
Seeley - Too right! Haven't heard of the Tudors, I'll have to google it!
Julia - You could be right. ;)
Lillian - Look who it is! Yes, I like the M word too.. ;)
Bambi - You're such a tart!!!!
Shayze - Easy to please! I must try to be more like you. ;)
Cake - Yes, I think watching him play would be very educational..! Webcams, huh? I happen to have one of those.. hmmm.... ;)
Hot article! Do you think one should go the whole nine yards, or let the partner finish it off?
I think you're right about the posh English accent. That has a strange effect on me for sure!
I think it's all hot, doing it for your partner, watching him do it. I think "playing with yourself" is a bit highschool though.
Great topic!
I don't think I could ever use the word masturbate in an erotic setting. Like I'd never say "I want to insert my penis into your vagina".
But, if the lady insisted, I daresay I could just lower the timbre of my voice; emphasise the first syllable a little and whisper into her ear "masturbate for me, I want to see what you do to give yourself a series of involuntary muscle contractions in the anus, lower pelvic muscles, and sexual organs, accompanied by a sudden release of endorphins providing a feeling of euphoria"
or maybe not.
I find that most women fully understand what I mean when I whisper "touch yourself"
Gretchen - Welcome! I think you should get involved at some point. ;)
Zade - Welcome! And thanks! Yes, highschool is a good way to put it!
Freddy - Yep, I think whispering touch yourself would work on anyone with ovaries. PS, I *hate* the word vagina, so no worries there!
I know it's been a long time since you wrote this, but I am dying of curiosity... I have the opposite problem, I really want to see my boyfriend masturbate and I don't know how to approach the subject. My motives are twofold, first I'm just really curious because I've never seen a man do that, and second I want to gain some insight into what he likes. How do I even bring it up?
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