How Many Dates Until Poontang Is a Go?
It's a been a really long time (15 years?) since I've read any dating advice books (because they're always rubbish -- hence, writing my own!) but I've recently bought one for a bit of light reading and now I've got to ask the lot of you something out of sheer curiosity:
What's the proper time frame for dropping knickers these days?
Back in the 40s and 50s it was never (unless you were a Pink Lady, obviously). In the 60s and 70s it was somewhere between never and first shared LSD experience. In the 80s and 90s it seemed to be a few weeks or maybe a month. I stopped paying attention after this and started to make my own schedule -- but I'm seriously wondering what society thinks it is now.
Ladies: How long do you wait before you have sex with a man you're dating? Is it different with each guy? Or do you have a rule about it?
Guys: What's a normal time frame you'd expect a girl to give poontang up within? And when is it too soon, aka, she's too tarty?
Be honest!
xx Isabella
23 Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest:
3rd date? lol. Is that too early? Yikes. Maybe I should shut up now. :)
3 dates sounds more plausible than 1 month or more like the author was suggesting! How many men would wait 2 months for sex, that's what I want to know!
It's been a while since I've dated, but It ranged from the first or second date, up to sixth or seventh (which would put it well past a month).
The variable is how old you are. When I was younger, I expected it to be longer, and so did girls because they didn't want to appear to be too "easy."
But dating in your 30s and 40s and 50s is different, especially if you're divorced. Being easy is no longer a big deal because you all know what sex is, and presumably you all know how to enjoy it.
But would you marry a girl who put out on the first date? Or would you not care either way?
For me it al depended on the guy.
I had a fuck buddy who was a good friend. He always said he respected me because I treated him the way he treated other women. (The first time with him was the night I met him.)
My husband, I didn't sleep with him for a little over a week, although he swears I made him wait a month. LOL According to him, he was more impressed that I made him wait.(the whole 9 days, that still makes me laugh)
See, at 50, I no longer have any concerns about women who might put out on the first date. I don't have the insecurities that 20 year olds have; I'd simply figure that if she was that interested, then it's a good thing for me.
Of course, I'd also hope she'd continue to be interested after a few months.
C - LOL. I guess one week of waiting for sex feels like a month for a man! Thank God you didn't make him wait for a month, he'd be telling people it was a year!
Tom -- Yes, I know what you mean. But I meant more that whole thing about men not wanting a whore for a wife. A girlfriend, maybe. But wife? Would you marry a woman who'd shagged the whole neighborhood 3 or 4 times?
Isabella, if a woman slept with me on the first date, I would continue dating her until I met someone else, or until she demanded we go to the next level. I would never marry such a woman. But sex? Yes, please.
Hmm. That's what the woman in the book says. Can I ask how old you are James?
I'm 36. I don't mind a woman who has had many partners. I've had many, too. But if there is a real connection, the sex is on another level and how long you wait for it determines how strong the emotional connection is. (Not trying to sound like a woman; I'm a psychologist.)
Thanks for the perspective, James! I appreciate it! :)
I make a man wait 10 dates. Or spending $1000 on me, LOL, whichever comes first. ;-P
Susie
LMAO! Welcome, and thanks for the comment!!
I am of the opinion that it is not a really big issue. First date? A month? To me it is part of the dating process and goes hand in hand with sharing your interests and getting to know each other. I think that people make way too big of a deal out of it. Mainly because of the puritanical beliefs our society was founded on. Most people like sex. When you withhold it for any other reason other than it is not feeling right, you are cheating yourself and your partner. It should feel right for both participants. It should feel and be safe. It is just one of many things that will help decide if this person is right for you.
Welcome, Kevin! I would really like to believe that all men think that way. But these women make so much money writing books about how long to wait before sleeping with a new man that it really makes me wonder.
Personally, I would *love* to meet a man who could turn me on so easily that I'd want to sleep with him on the first date. I can't think of a time when that was ever an issue, however... but if that happened, I'd like to think I could choose freely and not have my decision determine whether not I was put in the "just for sex" category.
I'm not trying to be difficult; it's just that *to me*, there are a lot of other qualities about a woman that would make or break a potential marriage before I'd be concerned with how many partners she'd had before me, or if we boinked on the first date.
And frankly, I've stunned at the several guys who answered here that it would make a difference. I guess I figured that your readers would be more sex positive, and by extension, more tolerant.
LOL. I did get a few "sex positive" replies from guys on Twitter, but I got a lot of emails saying guys wouldn't marry a woman who slept with them right away. I know what you mean, and I think a lot of people are "sex positive" when it comes to dating, but I think a lot of men have issues with women who've slept with a lot of men. Good for fun, not good for marriage. Obviously there are men who think like you. I've dated a few. But I think most of the men I've know are opposite that...? Also depends on where a man is from. NYers are quite different from, say Texans. Or Brits vs Italians.
I just asked my husband and he said that it wouldn't have made a difference if we had sex on the first date. We waited 5 dates and I was worried that even that was too soon.
I've had MANY male friends tell me over the years that they'd never marry someone who slept with them on the first date so when I met my husband, I was determined to wait. I didn't want sex to ruin it.
I think a secure man can handle sex on a first date but a lot of men get nervous that the woman can't be trusted (might cheat on them, etc) if the sex happens too soon. On the other hand, who wants to be with someone with those insecurities anyway?
Also, I do think that a lot of guys think girls that have sex on the first date are "party girls", not fit for marriage.
P.S. I also always thought it was important to throw in the "I've never done this before!!" on those few times that I "whored" it up! That's key! lol.
LOL... the old, "Honest, you're the first guy I've ever slept with on the first date!"
I think it does all come down to security though. But I also agree with the party girl thing. Sigh. Who the fuck knows?? ;-)
First date, unless the fellatio is brilliant, in which case, I'd make an exception. ;-)
GM
Bad man!!
Post a Comment