Sex, Screaming and the Importance of Names

This will sound shallow and all kinds of terrible so let me offer some sort of advanced apology -- and let me follow it up by saying I still mean everything I'm about to say. What am I on about here? Names, mostly; and the importance of such names when one is screaming during the throes of lust. (If you're not a screamer but prefer to moan instead, that's fine -- just switch the words round in your mind as you read.) You see, I'm a vocal bitch. And having developed rather a powerful singing voice over the last decade or so, I can belt, baby. Add to that an uncontrollable urge to scream and moan whilst being (properly) fucked and you've got the makings of a good porn flick, minus the cheesy acting and fake tits.

Unless you've got an unscreamable name.

Wot's an unscreamable name, you ask? A name which just doesn't feel sexy whilst being screamed, obviously. Here, I'll give you a few examples: Lester, Bob, Dilbert and Willis are fairly unscreamable in my book. What makes them unscreamable names? If you have to ask, it's probably not worth the time it would take it explain it, so I won't bother. Some guys have names which wouldn't sound good being screamed about in bed, but which could be modified into an acceptable moniker. Jim, for example, could be turned into Jimmie. But some names just can't be changed and you've got to either come up with a nickname, or not cum at all (if you're like me and need to scream in bed).

I realize it sounds terrible but it's not like one wakes up one morning and says, "I choose this fetish today." I can't help it if, when I first meet a man, I imagine whether or not his name is screamable -- and politely turn him down if it isn't. I mean, why bother teasing him at all if you already know sex isn't going to work out? (Yes, yes, there are other factors when it comes to sex but if this basic need isn't met, the others couldn't be either.) Even if you're not the type of screamer I happen to be, surely there are names you couldn't imagine yourself calling out in bed? Hubert? Bertha? Agnes? Jasper? Although, to be fair, if I discover someone with massive wet knicker factor, such as Clive Owen, I'm capable of reprogramming and putting Clive in the screamable name section. But the knickers have got to be seriously wet.

Any names you find unscreamable?

xx Isabella