Mr. Economical

Hello luvvlies. Long time, no blog. Sorry about that. Last month was really quite rough and I'm only now coming back round to my usual cheerful self. Some of you will recall that I renounced dating not all that long ago, so you will, quite rightly, find it odd that I went on a date last evening. You will also find it equally odd that I can't decide how I feel about that date, or the man himself. Perhaps some of you would be so kind as to impart your wisdom via the comments, as I would certainly appreciate it.

Firstly, we met online via a dating site. He actually lives in the same city which is quite a new concept for me. We got off to a rough start when it became apparent that he'd been, as he put it, "economical" about his age when he deducted several years from it. He is not 39 but rather 42. He is also a Scorpio, and quite a typical one at that. (I'm an Aries.) He does look like his photograph so I suppose I ought to be grateful that he didn't turn up with hobbit hands or hobbit feet. Some background on Mr. Economical: 42, Londoner, public school boy accent, travels constantly and seems to rarely be home. Never been married, no children. Very intelligent, very witty, uncannily perceptive. Ginger coloring and I'm guessing he's about 5'11. So that's 5 fetishes covered in one go!

We met at a subway station and I was only 10 minutes late. I say only because I am often quite late... he wasn't keen about it but handled it well so gets points for that. We walked to an Indian restaurant and had dinner, over the course of which there were several rather unpleasant -- and highly unnecessary -- silences. One of which involved his remarking that our waitress was beautiful. He was of the opinion that this comment should not have bothered me in the slightest and he was simply making an observation. He went on to note that local women were usually beautiful (although this actually is not true IMO for reasons I'm not rude enough to mention.)

Anyway, the point was that I didn't find the comment appropriate given that we were on a date, but he found it to be very much so and even made a point of implying that American women were quite the opposite of beautiful. And then implied that I was insecure for allowing either comment to bother me. He also said I should feel free to point out any good looking man who walked into the room. I didn't bother to explain that I wouldn't want someone to feel like I was more interested in a random stranger than the person I was sitting with. I'd guess that bit of awkwardness came about 2/3 of the way through the date. The part leading up to it was fine. He's very perceptive and y'all know that's very important to me, but he also thought I was competing with him on some level and I sincerely still have no idea what that meant. He spent a lot of time trying to analyze me and accused me of doing the same to him but I actually was not -- I observe the first time I meet someone, I don't really try to analyze things until the next day (i.e., now).

When we left, we were near to a different subway stop that he could have taken; I needed to walk back to where we'd met to catch a bus. He seemed keen to get going immediately upon leaving the restaurant so I told him he could go. He then turned round and said, "I guess you want me to walk you back then." And it was said in a less than enthusiastic manner which I really found insulting so I told him I didn't want him to do anything unless he actually wanted to do it. He then proceeded to walk so fast and far ahead of me that I had to ask him if we were in a Muslim country and should I be wearing a veil. I actually tried to make things less awkward by asking if he needed to go home right then or if he'd like to walk around a bit. He replied that it was cold and so was I. I guess that explains why he then walked a good several feet apart from me the whole way back to the bus stop. To his credit he did walk me all the there and even stood and waited til I was getting on the bus -- I don't think anyone's ever done that before. And I think the cheek-kissing at the end was less than cold and not unkind but I'm just not sure. We parted with him saying, "Ok Babe, see you soon."

Not very promising, right? And as I sat on the bus going home I wasn't sure what I thought about the date or him or anything else. In a matter of 30 minutes he'd told me I'd reminded him of his father and then told me the same with regard to his mother and I reckon those weren't meant to be compliments. He's almost a decade older and thinks I haven't lived because I'm not old enough to have done so. I actually wanted to tell him some facets of my life, if for no other reason than to point out the falsity of his assumptions, but it just wasn't the right environment. We were miles apart at the table and I'm not one to tell everyone in a 20 ft radius my life story, or even chapters of it. I'm too private a person for that.

But now that I'm on that subject, I don't really believe that people WANT to hear someone else's life story. People always want to drag shit out of the darkest depths of your fucking soul and then once they've heard it they don't know how to react and then they get all strange and I've learned from experience that people really don't want to know certain things and best to just give them the Cliff's notes version. It's not that I want to keep certain things secret it's just that I don't see the point in rehashing past experiences for the sake of temporary entertainment.

So. Back to Mr. Economical. I woke up this morning not knowing how to feel about last night. I don't even know if he was even remotely attracted to me and that's something most men tend to make obvious in some way at some point. Perhaps that means he wasn't; which would explain the distance and a few of the comments. I sent him a friend request on Facebook this morning but he didn't reply to it so a few hours later I logged into Skype to see if he'd want to say hello and he didn't initiate so I said hey and it didn't go very well and I logged off and here I am. Hmm. Maybe I don't actually need the advice I originally asked for -- it would appear he wasn't actually all that interested.

Who says you can't be both clever and dense at the same time?

UPDATE: Have texted him and am sure we will not chat again. Ah, well.

xx Isabella